Camp Isaboko

And I am wondering who I am, and who I am becoming. And If I will be good enough, and be brave enough to do the right thing.
Summer camp evokes many emotions, americana, the wilderness, first time away from home, swimming in lakes, making new friends, crafting tirelessly and eating weird camp food. delicious smore sticky sweet marshmallow and chocolate drip off your face onto your hiking book or sandals. I grew up going to different summer camps all around michigan. Spring Hill, Little Pine Island, Vacation bible school, PEAK, CMU's math and science camp, 4H camps on coldwater lake. I often spent my whole summers growing up traversing from one part of the state to another to be dropped off for weeks at a time, to do random activities, and bond with strange kids in creaky wooden cabins. This past summer 2022 I worked as a crafthouse specialist for 2 weeks at Miniwanca on lake Michigan, the camp my best friends Presli and Landon attended their whole childhoods and worked at as adults. I spent just over 2 weeks there, flowing into the camp routine, crafting with kids and sneaking away to jump into the lake at night after sunset. The warm sand sneaks its way into my socks and underwear everyday, I fall asleep on a plastic mat and wake to the sound of a teenager shouting the polar bear chant. It is all at once cringe worthy and heartwarming with innocence. learning and growing everyday. Appreciating time alone. Reflecting on the loneliness and pain I have experienced earlier this summer. A knee injury that might take years to heal. My rape in san diego. How I feel very strongly that it was my fault. How I am so afraid to be alone, and my fear that I am dependent on romantic relationships.

memories flood back. I loved summer camp, perhaps it's the reason I am who I am, perhaps it's the reason I am alive, I wasn't very cool at school. I was and still am a freak mixed asian and white artist kid who would get in trouble every other day. Yet, something about being at summer camp, a place where everyone was an unfamiliar weirdo, where again i was the only asian kid but in a sea of poor kids with inner city diversity. I felt a flame light up inside of me, I knew that this was a place I could own. that i could be the coolest kid at summer camp.